it’s the end where i begin
you can call me baby if you let me hold your soul
nothing beats finally working up enough courage to tell your boyfriend you love them thinking they love you back considering how much they’ve said it before, for them to finally be honest and tell you that they don’t love you back. yet. they say, yet.
nothing beats them telling you that they’re afraid to actually get close enough to love you because something might happen, and they might get hurt. you might get attached to each other and something might happen. you might move away like one girl who already had a boyfriend did.
i’m already attached. i’ve never told anyone ever that i love them the way i love him. i let myself love him because i thought he did love me, i trusted him not to hurt me because i thought he trusted me not to hurt him. i opened up to him, because i thought he opened up to me. just to find out he doesn’t tell anyone his thoughts, let alone me. and he was pulling away for the past week because he felt us getting too close, because he was getting attached to me.
honestly, every time i see a picture of her i feel sick to my stomach. i wonder how she could leave something i would never be able to leave, how she could tell him she loved him while she was in love with someone else, and how she could let him say it back. i wonder how she could watch him love her so much, and know how he’d fall apart when she left.
i see this beautiful, blond, blue-eyed, dimpled boy with scars all over his arms and i know he holds my heart in his rough, blistered hands but i don’t hold his.
3 years ago • 0 notes